Why Do We Need To Be Liked?
Remember that feeling in the school playground when you’d fallen out with your friends? It happens. Mostly it passed quickly and was quickly forgotten. But for those brief moments the world was a sad and lonely place. In a world dominated by social media, we are back in that playground, needing to be liked.
A positive product of such childhood experiences is that we learn how to cope, we learn that it is not the end of the world and hopefully, we learn the strategies needed to maintain friendships. Do we therefore stride confidently into adulthood in the knowledge that we understand friendships? Well that’s the theory, out of the playground spring capable and confident adults who now know how to behave. Simple, right?
The Trouble With Facebook
And then came Facebook! Fundamentally, it began as a rather joyous expedition around the most exciting aspects of other people’s lives. We lived life vicariously, discovering far off places yet to visit; we began my day with a hearty laugh, or with a previously unconsidered perspective. All very jolly if managed properly, but Facebook has a dark side…
- Time: How much time is spent on Facebook that could otherwise be spent productively? It’s like spending 3/4 of playtime sitting alone in the school lobby.
- Negativity: My bug bear, years ago, would we have stood in the playground with a megaphone and announced our annoyances/grievances to everyone? Worse still, would we have announced it in a cryptic message?!
- Filtering: Facebook filters what we see, with the volume of ‘stuff’ out there, it has to. We are now spending playtime wearing our bobble hats over our eyes.
- Likes: Are addictive. Why would someone choosing not to like us? What did we do wrong? I know, let’s all run around the playground saying ‘please like me’. ‘I must have likes to feel valid’
- Behind the screen bravery: Sitting behind a screen creates the illusion of bravery. Would people actually go up to that person in the playground and say some of the things they type out loud?
- Advertising: Businesses are desperately scratching around to find the latest gimmicks and ploys to attract attention. Imagine the most attention seeking child in the school and turn that one child into thousands. Getting it wrong on Facebook can make a business look a bit silly!
I still enjoy Facebook, I enjoy sharing wisdom and entertainment on both my personal page, and My Words Work For You’s page, but like with all aspects of life, it has to be managed with a degree of sagacity.
Come and join in the fun, don’t take it too seriously, remember real friendships matter most, the rest is just light entertainment.