Can you recall how searching for something on the internet used to be? Random results, but far fewer of them.
And now? Reams of results, abundant ads, oodles of organisations clamouring for your click. How does your content compete?
Write Purposeful and Relevant Content
Worldwide, internet users are carrying out over 3.5 billion searches every single minute.. 40,000 searches per second. Rather than adding to the treacle sea that is Google, we need to be making the data we put out taste the sweetest. Content needs to be relevant, purposeful and should motivate and inspire action.
Three Rules of Content Generation
Know your audience: Who they are, what they want, how they look for it
Provide a solution: Answer questions, solve problems, add value
Keep it short: Searchers don’t have the time or inclination to wade through waffle
I am not asked to be an after-dinner speaker often, but as Burns Night approached, the phone rang…
The Chairman of Royston & District Round Table used his charm. I remember the daunting feeling of not really knowing where to begin, so I thought I would dig out my speech and share it online should other lassies find themselves in a similar position.
Traditionally, the ‘Reply From The Lassies’ is in response to the toast to the lassies from the laddies. It is supposed to be humorous and entertaining, no pressure there then.
Top Tips for a successful reply from the lassies!
Keep it short, they have just endured the speech from the laddies
Make it relevant and relatable
Make them laugh, and it is OK to be laughing at their expense, don’t be mean, be masterful
Enjoy yourself, but don’t hit the whisky until afterwards
A Reply To The Laddies On Behalf Of The Lassies
Ladies, Gentlemen, Tablers, 41 Club… I thank you for the opportunity to reply on behalf of the lassies. Thank you Graham for your kind words.
So, it would appear this reply is an excellent opportunity to focus on the vices and lack of morality of the laddies, but I have been told we are keeping the speeches short, so I can’t be mentioning all of them.
I thought I might focus on the similarities between Robbie Burns and the guys of Royston Round Table. Now let’s see, Robbie, unusually for his day, viewed ladies as equals, yet he was a bit of a womaniser, he liked his drink and had his fair share of debauchery…
Re the drinking… Let me tell you, I’ve been tangled up in the odd Sunday evening ‘business meeting’ at the pub. I can confirm the drinking bit, and the debauchery bit. It is utterly pointless asking any of these guys for ‘just a water’, you take your life in your hands by getting involved.
Re the debauchery, I have also witnessed some impressive erections… There was the time the guys offered to erect the market stall for me. A plethora of poles everywhere, a lot of head scratching and in response to my helpful suggestion of marking the poles for future use their reply was a resounding, ‘Where’s the fun in that?’
Continuing the theme of erections… The Round Table camping weekend. Each new family arrives, tired, in the knowledge that they have the ordeal of erecting their tent. The guys rally forth, bringing chairs, wine, and Pringles and form a helpful semi-circle to watch the entertainment. Helpful hints from the circle are usually forthcoming.
We love our Tablers, and wouldn’t have them any other way (mostly) But, in support of the poor, long-suffering lassies who love their laddies, vices and all, I’d like to share this little story with you.
Ladies – I received chain letter recently, unlike most chain letters, this one looked promising, so I kept it.
It read ‘This letter was started by a woman like yourself in the hope of bringing relief to other tired and discontented women. Just bundle up your husband or boyfriend and send him to the woman whose name appears at the top of the list. Then, add your name to the bottom of the list and send a copy of this letter to five of your friends who are equally tired and discontented. When your name comes to the top of the list, you will receive 3,125 men – at least one of them is bound to be better than the one you gave up.‘
Ladies, please charge your glasses… On behalf of the lassies I would like to thank you, members of Round Table and 41 club, for organising a splendid evening and a chance to bring us all together in friendship. Please charge your glasses.. Ladies, may I ask you to raise your glasses and join me in a toast to the Laddies
Years ago, a fight broke out in my sitting room. I raced in to see my two warring toddlers, pulling at the toy they both passionately believed should be theirs. In each of their heads, they were in the right.
Ordinarily, I would have told them off, removed the toy, talked about what things are worth fighting over and what things are not, then found a way to reach a compromise. I’m not sure why, but that day, that isn’t what happened. That day, I sat on the floor with arms outstretched and said,
Oh dear, what are YOU going to do to sort this out?
Mummy Dunklin
That was the moment that changed the future of our family life.
Conflict resolution, a life lesson to save the world
From the safety of my embrace, both children looked at each other and set about the task of resolving the problem, anger and tears forgotten. They fully understood ‘sorting it out’ was their responsibility. The potential to hold on to resentment years down the line disappeared. Henceforth, that was the way we rolled.
If we stop children fighting?
We end up with adults who lack the emotional maturity to deal with opinions they disagree with or behaviour they don’t like. Instead of being able to discuss their feelings directly with the person involved, resentment and anger build up unchecked, a ticking bomb inside that fuels irrational and disproportionate response. They are unable to address the problem at the time, or in the future. To them, it’s easier to stay at war than face the problem. Hence, families, friends and nations ‘fall out’, damage is done, potentially forever.
Anger, it damages you more than them Image credit: Priscilla Du Preez, Unsplash
The explosion, the war, the consequences, are never worth it. Lives are ruined or lost as people refuse to talk, sulk, act in anger and continue to believe only they have the moral high ground. If only they had sat down and talked.
Let children learn how to deal with challenges, or life will be tough
Children cannot develop this vital life skill if they aren’t given the opportunity to deal with challenging circumstances. They need to learn to listen and understand that the opinions of others have value, and may also be right. When subjected to hurtful behaviour, children (and adults) should have the opportunity to address it in a rational way. That can’t happen if someone else has waded in and stopped the disagreement. Negotiation, debate and resolution allow the processes of understanding and healing.
Doesn’t affect you?
As onlookers we can all do something, if conflict involves family members or friends, we can enable them to appreciate there is another way of looking at every situation. Staying silently out of the firing line is an easy option, but it doesn’t resolve anything.
With politicians and their inflammatory, dangerous actions, we can protest, object, lobby for change, or preferrably, not vote for these people in the first place. The world would be a far better place if it was run by people who have emotional maturity and the courage to sit down and resolve the conflict.
I would like to thank my children for inspiring the post. They grew up to be fine young adults who go through life able to get along with others around them, both making the world a better place.
Here we are, new year, new decade, new climate…same planet. We have little control of any of those things, time only moves forward, and we don’t deserve to ruin another planet, even if we could survive on one. The land we fight over, build on and devastate will be there long after we have killed each other and everything else on it.
Business Goals for 2020
There are things we can do, in fact must do, if we are to retain any of the control we seem to crave. It isn’t enough to be SMART, SMART has brought us to this point, we need to be SMARTER, much smarter. Whoever you are, business or individual, we are all responsible.
Specific
Measurable
Achievable
Realistic
Time-Constrained
Environmentally Friendly/Ethical
Responsible
Businesses have a far greater impact, and therefore responsibility. More and more people are making ethical choices, Apps like Goodonyou, Buycott and GoodGuide will have people voting with their feet, and rightly so. Be a business customers walk towards, not away from.
Photo by Mauro Paillex on Unsplash
Wishing you all, a responsible and ethical new year.
After an evening with friends who spent their time alternately fanning themselves, I had a flash of inspiration, in the form of the Three Little Pigs. So I thought I’d try my hand at writing a poem. It’s been fun, I might carry on, as the mood takes me. Here’s to all the women enduring their own unique menopause, past and present, ladies, you are wonderful.
Menopausal Melee
Menopause, menopause, why did you begin?
Now I have hairs on my chinney-chin-chin
Sweat runs down my sides, face beetroot red
Little control over what my mouth said
I huff and I puff and the weight that I’ve gained
Makes my clothing too tight, stitches are strained
A wobbly belly, wrinkly skin
A shrivelled up uterus, lurking within
My brain’s in a fug, I leak when I sneeze
Once magnificent boobs heading down to my knees
I have not a clue what I came in here for
Or what we just talked about moments before
Rhino-hide skin and more delicate bones
Tight vocal chords, set to ‘old woman’ tones
Ms Grumpy, Ms Cranky both wait in the wings
To leap centre stage at the slightest of things
But I’m female, I’m strong, I’ve coped with much more
I’ve recently been involved in the creation of a product (I am being deliberately vague here). Not my usual ‘bag’ of content writing or business support, something altogether different.
Quality Control
The quality of the final product mattered, a lot. The client had employed a Project Manager who had been working on it for ten months. Every facet had been planned meticulously leading up to the actual product creation over the course of five days.
Production Begins
The day arrived. A team of specialists had been recruited, each individual briefed, and highly skilled at what they do. Stakeholders had come to observe the process, flown in from across the globe. As production was due to commence the first meeting was called where the Project Manager passionately voiced how much this project meant and that they would be picky throughout the process (alarm bells).
From this point, it may have been sensible to allow the professionals to step in and do their job, but that isn’t what happened. The Project Manager felt compelled to step in at every stage to analyse, dissect and re-invent, showing their authority, and worth. Throughout the numerous discussions time for production of the product ebbed away, along with its potential.
The Production
Days of frustration as each professional was compelled to justify their actions and wait as unnecessary changes were made. Observers shifted to ‘inputters’, decision became indecision and the big picture became a pixellated, distorted mass of disjointed fragments.
The Result
Almost everybody involved remained polite. They listened and responded to each new view, doing their best to please. Many changes were made, often ill-informed and illogical, rarely working towards achieving the goal. Time spent actually creating the product fell from around 80% to around 20% leaving no time for critical appraisal and fine-tuning at the end. I dare say the Project Manager walked away with a huge payment feeling they had worked hard. They may not even realise the detrimental effect of their interference throughout, and they certainly will never realise the difference in quality, had they simply allowed the professionals involved to do what they do best.
The Moral
Understand your role, play to your strengths, and allow others to play to their strengths too. Ultimately, a team can be greater than the sum of their parts if they work well together. Above all, know when to step back!
I attend the Optimisey Events in Cambridge each month. It is a regular meet up for SEO professionals to find out what is going on in the SEO world and keep ahead of the curve. Bear in mind that Google make some 3,200 updates per year, it is some curve to keep ahead of.
The Latest From SEO Professionals
This month’s speakers were Jasmine Granton, Digital PR at Aira Digital and Jono Alderson, Digital Strategist at Yoast. These guys know their stuff and share it well.
Jasmine’s top tips:
Get organised
Think about the end user
If you want journalists to cover your news, relevant pitch to relevant journalists
Jono’s Top Tips
Spend energy moving forwards and upwards
Focus on the basics, the quality of your product and service matter above all else, the rest will follow
Consider your audience’s needs/interests first
Add value to others, it isn’t about what you can get, it is about what you can give
Jono Alderson of Yoast Entertains the Audience
Getting the Fundamentals Right
As a Content Writer, I need to factor SEO in to everything I write for my clients. Good quality, useful content that reaches and adds value to a relevant audience is a major asset for any business and a worthwhile investment. Having a top quality product and offering the best customer service are the fundamentals, telling people about your hard work is vital.
Next month’s event will be pearls of wisdom from Koozai’s Hannah Butcher & Natalie Mott. We’ll be hearing the latest on content marketing & SEO strategy, I can’t wait for my clients to benefit.
This article is about improving your business. It is not about finding gimmicks to make people buy your products, it is about being the best you can be so people want to support what you are doing. It is about the impact your business has on the planet. In terms of the environment, we all have to do better.
A Moral Responsibility to Care
I just took delivery of 48 loo rolls from Who Gives a Crap. I like their marketing style, and the £5 voucher sent by a friend I trust was great too, but those aren’t what persuaded me to buy. I chose to buy from this business because I love what they are doing. 50% Of their profits go towards providing toilets for the 40%, yes 40%, of the world’s population who don’t have one, an outrageous statistic. The product is great quality (‘like wiping with unicorn tears’) and I felt a moral responsibility to support them. I also now have enough loo roll to last the year.
Businesses That Get it Right
I am cutting down the amount of plastic we use in the household. Bar soaps, no clingfilm, re-usable shopping bags, cups, bottles, bar shampoo, Smol washing and dishwasher tabs, glass bottle milk delivery… you know what I’m talking about. Small but necessary steps, not enough people taking them.
I ordered some products from Lush, the place with the overpowering smell and synthetic appearance as you pass by. When you go in and talk to any staff member it turns out hey are all natural and they’ve been saving the planet for years. Lush have had outstanding ethics from their 1970s origins, they’re just not bragging about it. Their packaging is not plastic, they encourage re-use, the ‘polystyrene’ chips used in delivery boxes are in fact biodegradable potato starch. Labelling is clear, contents are ethically sourced and involve no animal cruelty. I wish they could address the dichotomy between the impression they give on the outside and the company they are on the inside, the brightly coloured bath-bombs are fun but don’t shout ‘natural’ to me.
What Can Your Business Do?
Whatever steps you take it doesn’t have to cost the earth (excuse the pun).
Listen, learn, educate, inform, get everyone on board at every level
Reduce plastic use
Choose an energy provider who uses renewable energy
Recycle, and make it easy to do so
Save energy at every possible opportunity, carry out an audit
Source ethical materials
Ask suppliers about their ethical policies
Reduce waste
Plant trees, bring in plants
Ask for advice from any of the free expert sources
Sitting in front of my PC 18 months ago I saw an advert saying Dame Judi Dench was soon to be filming in Cambridge and they needed Supporting Artists (Extras). The thought had never occurred to me, but I clicked on the ad…
Content Writer and Part-Time Supporting Artist
Once my details were entered I got on with work as a Content Writer and forgot all about it. A couple of months later a text arrived asking if I was available for filming in Dereham, Norfolk. A moment to gather my thoughts and I remembered the advert, then I chose, ‘Yes’. My journey into the unknown began in the early hours of the morning about a week later. I arrived on a film set where friendships quickly began. We spent a fun week aboard a train with cast, crew, food, my book, and Richard Madden.
What a very nice man he is
Broadening Horizons
Since then I have seen many sunrises, and sunsets, I’ve visited places I never knew existed, met celebrities and ‘ordinary folk’. I have listened to and shared stories of everyday lives, of struggles and of triumphs, stories that lift your spirits and stories that made me feel grateful for the lifestyle I have carved out. I have played roles including: Christopher Reeve’s mother, John Candy’s mother, a Scene Of Crime Officer, a Family Liaison Officer, a nun, a criminal, a party guest to name but a few. I have worked with wolves, stuntmen, dancers, footballers and models, I’ve had my own trailer, I’ve sat around for hours or been busy from morning to night. I have loved almost every minute. In other news, I have also been signed as a commercial model, who knew!
Cheeky! This was clearly not my chair!
Actor’s Doubles Get Their Own Trailer!
Walking away from James Norton, it wasn’t easy!A trip to court in EastEnders
A Perfect Fit
So how does it work? The answer is, it works extraordinarily well, I am a Content Writer, being a Supporting Artist is purely a ‘side hustle’. Sitting in front of my PC for five years I hadn’t realised how much I missed human interaction. The occasional day spent on set gives me a much-needed chance to soak up human company, meet up with friends old and new and be part of a creative process. It fits in nicely around my content writing as I only accept film work that won’t impact on content writing for my clients. I take a laptop or iPad to set with me and in the hours of waiting around I can be managing social media accounts, researching and writing. It adds a new dimension to my working and personal life and keeps me fresh.
Upcoming appearances
Too numerous to list them all but here’s a snapshot:
Speechless, ITV’s Autopsy, Warburton’s bread advert, Lucozade ad, EE ad, Rocketman, London Kills, Dracula, In The Long Run, The Split, Lee and Dean, EastEnders, Holby City, Bancroft and Gameface. Mostly I can be found here, in front of my PC, in my study with my faithful Springer Spaniels, feeling content with my lot.
Addendum
I never did get the part in the Judi Dench film, Red Joan, but I now know people who are in it!
I have been creating content for businesses since 2013. Retailers, Accountants, industrial services, chauffeurs, plumbing merchants, business development, the science sector and the sport industry to name but a few. Each client and each task brings a its own challenges and adds variety to my day, but… As much as I love what I do, and as much as my Springers and I love spending the day together, I realised I needed more human company. So I have ‘mixed it up a bit’…
Take Every Opportunity
One day, I noticed an ad, they were filming with Dame Judy Dench in Cambridge and needed ‘Extras’ (more correctly, Supporting Artists). On impulse, I filled in the form, then got on with writing content. Fast forward a couple of months and I receive a text asking if I am available for filming in Norfolk, recalling the form I had filled in, I hesitated for a heartbeat, then chose ‘YES’. It wasn’t long before I was on a train, surrounded by new friends for a week filming ‘Bodyguard’. And the seed was sewn.
Yes OK I blushed, old enough to be his mother too!
The Best of Both Worlds
Working on the premise that we are only here once and life is to be lived, I found my perfect solution. The Supporting Artist industry is reaching saturation point. Too many agents, too many artists and not enough work, I would advise anyone in need of a reliable income against entering. For me, it was perfect.
Content Fired By Enthusiasm
I am happy, enjoying a varied and interesting life and I’m surrounded by creativity. I only take on clients I know I will love working with, and for whom I will produce content that will work hard for their business. Whether on set, made up and in costume or sitting in front of my PC, I am enjoying a life that includes two different worlds that dovetail rather nicely together. Great work comes from happy people, if you are unhappy in your work, brainstorm some ideas to fix it, it’s your brainstorm, there are no wrong answers, the sky’s the limit so dare to believe.
